thecolumbines

the columbines

dirty rock from the dirty north

Just four short years ago a man and a woman lived separate but equally nightmarish suburban lives. One evening, they sat in their backyards 2000 miles apart, listening to various lawn implements scream obscenities at the birds, and wished for something different. Gophers appeared, seemingly out of no-where. The lead gopher walked up to each of them on hind legs, lowered its head with paws on its hips, and spoke with a kind but commanding voice.

“Come.”

Fast forward three years to find them living together on a planet called Inner World E. They had created many wonderful things on the planet and even started a very popular sock puppet theater, but the gophers at the top tired of their antics. They hugged their furry friends goodbye as the lead gopher pointed to the shaft of the bunny gun. They lowered themselves into the cannon and held their nose as the spring loaded base sent them flying into exile. They landed in Lake Michigan and have since been reduced to dumpster diving for found objects, making voodoo idols, and playing rock and roll for those seedy enough to understand.

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